Lonely
by LaPaige
Summary: He wraps his arms around her and she doesn’t realise it until they pull away, but both of them are crying. Slight NickMacy.


_H t t p : / / i689 . photobucket . com / album s / vv252/ SmileCosILoveYa / Quotes%20and%20Sayings / z195830984 . j p g_

**For howlsatthemoon, because I wrote this for her challenge and she's amazing. I hope this does your wonderful challenge justice.**

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She wonders if he thinks of her as anything other than 'JONAS Number One Fan' or 'Girl Who Injures Him and Brothers with Sports Equipment'. She thinks probably not – what else is there to think of her? She isn't like Stella –she can't keep cool and natural around them. It's just not possible for her. She didn't _ask _them to come to her school, of all places (though she isn't complaining, just looking for excuses).

It takes a while but she starts to relax around them. Three months, two weeks and three days, to be exact. But she wasn't counting. After three months, two weeks and four days she had an entire conversation with Kevin (lasting 4.287 minutes, Stella timed) about animals playing instruments and wearing clothes – namely otters playing trumpets and bears in bikinis. And then, three days later, she had a conversation (5.715 minutes) with Joe about soccer and baseball. And she knows she should be happy about all this, but something keeps nagging at her.

Nick Lucas. He's keeping his distance from her and is pretty much silent when she's around, unless he has to mumble when asked a direct question. Not that she blames him. He's suffered a lot of injuries on her part. But she wishes he would at least give her (another) chance. She's changed in the months she's really gotten to know the brothers (well, Kevin and Joe).

But he doesn't make any move to get to know her so she pretends she doesn't care (and she doesn't think about it at night when she can't get to sleep because that would be ridiculous, right?). Stella picks up on it and Kevin shoots his younger brother a few extra glances but both are otherwise silent on the subject.

It takes a while, but slowly Joe and Kevin stop standing away from her automatically. They stop checking for her presence in classrooms and hallways, and they even start to greet her and run to catch up with her when they see her around school. Macy couldn't be happier. She stops hyperventilating, and doesn't injure the brothers at all with her sports equipment. She becomes a person to them, instead of a 'JONAS biggest fan' label.

Four months and six days after she becomes close friends with Joe and Kevin, Nick approaches her in the hallway on her way to lunch. She almost jumps when he falls in to step beside her because this is not normal. Nick never walks with her, talks to her or even acknowledges her most of the time. She doesn't speak, afraid that if she does he'll realize who he's walking with and turn back around. She's waiting for him to make the first move, but as every second goes by she's beginning to doubt he will. As they walk in silence they are surrounded by the sound of students and laughter and Macy wonders if this is irony (she never could get the hang of the word).

She wonders if Nick is testing her. Timing how long it takes before she speaks or he ends up injured yet again. She wants to ask him, but if he is testing her then she'd fail and if this is her one chance she can't afford to lose.

They reach the canteen and Macy glances at him. He's staring at her. She scolds herself because up until now she was doing so well in avoiding his gaze. A few months ago Macy would have been hyperventilating if Nick was staring at her – now she's nervous and awkward.

"I'm sorry." He says those words and then walks towards the normal lunch table where he sits with Stella, Joe, Kevin and her. She blinks. Maybe she imagined him speaking, because it is pretty hard to hear over the shouts and noise of the other students. Though she could see his lips moving and his eyes staring at her and somehow she thinks that this isn't a dream and she didn't imagine it.

But what is he sorry for?

She puts on a smile and walks in the same direction as him. She sits next to Stella in her usual place and greets everyone as normal. Did they see her with Nick? Nobody mentions anything, so she guesses not. Nick is avoiding her gaze but in those few minutes of walking in silence, she hopes something has changed.

"You okay, Mace? You seem a little distant." Stella asks her a question that Macy herself doesn't know the answer to. _Yeah, I'm fine._ Would be a simple answer and one that would satisfy her best friend (for a while) so she says this as happily as she can. It works because Stella goes back to eating and arguing with Joe over the new pants she's designed for him that are "too tight" and "are you trying to kill all hope of ever having little Joe's on the planet?".

But then she thinks that no, she is not okay. Because Nick Lucas is one of the most confusing people she has ever met.

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**

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"Macy, wait up!"

She turns and smiles at the sight of Kevin running towards her. He pulls her into a hug and she's proud when she doesn't forget to breathe because this is her friend Kevin, not Kevin of JONAS. They are no longer the same person to her.

"Hey, Kevin." She says happily. "Would you mind letting go of me? Breathing is pretty important and you're crushing my airways." She jokes around happily because it's a new week and all thoughts of Nick have (or should have, anyway) left her mind.

Kevin obeys and lets her go and they smile at each other, but then Macy notices who is standing behind her best friend and her smile falters.

"Oh. Hey Nick."

"Macy." He says with a nod, and she suddenly feels like crying.

_Why do you hate me?_ She wants to say, but she's Macy and she doesn't do anger or sadness.

"I have to go, I've got a class. I'll see you guys." She says and before Kevin can say anything she hurries off. She has ten minutes before her algebra class but all she wants to do is go home.

She turns a corner and she hears someone yelling her name. Confused, because it isn't Kevin's voice, she turns and frowns at the sight of Nick Lucas running towards her.

"What do you want, Nick?" She asks, and is surprised by the cold tone of her voice. He blinks and a shocked expression passes his face.

"I ... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not trusting you and not becoming your friend. I'm sorry for acting so mean and hostile and judging you before I knew you." He says it fast, almost like he doesn't want to say the words but can't stop himself.

"You don't know me, Nick." She whispers, and then she turns and walks away again. He doesn't follow this time. She almost wishes he would.

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**

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She's sitting in History when he enters the classroom. Everyone turns their head to look and the teacher stops talking. Nick Lucas does not belong to this class.

"Can I help you?" Mrs Murdoch asks politely, frowning slightly at the new addition to the class.

"The principle wants to speak to Macy Misa." Nick replies, not faltering. The teacher watches him for a few seconds before nodding and turning, her eyes seeking out Macy.

"Macy Misa" she says "it looks like it's your lucky day."

Macy grabs her books and fakes a laugh, but inside she's thinking _no, not my lucky day. Anything but._

The two of them walk outside into the hallways. They are empty (but is she talking about the hallways or her and Nick?) and Macy doesn't like the silence.

"I'm sorry." She says, because this time silence is not an option. "I'm sorry for being so mean before ... I didn't mean it. I guess I'm just having a bad day."

Nick turns his head to look at her, and for the first time that she can remember he's smiling at her.

"I think we both know it's me that should be apologizing." He replies. "All the time my brothers have got to know you and I've kept my distance. They said you were awesome but I just ... I'm not good with making friends. I've always been reserved, and being in the spotlight because of the band well ... it doesn't help. I've never wanted to be liked for the famous side of me, I've wanted to be liked because people like the real me, all faults and errors included. You were our biggest fan, Macy, and I didn't think you wanted to be friends with the real me. Just the JONAS side. But I was wrong, and I'm sorry."

He takes a breath but doesn't say anything more. Macy hadn't realised it, but they had stopped walking.

"Nick, all I've wanted in these past few months it to be friends with all three of you." She pauses, and then smiles. "The real people, that is. Not JONAS."

Nick smiles back and Macy knows something has changed.

"So, why does the principle want to see me?" She asks.

"Oh." Nick put on an innocent look, though he looked anything but. "He doesn't."

---

**

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Slowly, they become friends. It takes a while because Nick isn't all that good with this sort of thing. Writing music and singing, that's what he excels at. Being a social butterfly and making friends – not so much. Macy is patient. She accepts that sometimes Nick doesn't talk, and that he can say things he doesn't mean sometimes. Most of the time she's just glad that he's finally accepting her.

Nobody is as shocked as Stella. She's been friends with the brothers all her life, so Nick had no trouble accepting her (they were only five, after all), but Macy is different. Macy has, for most of the time the brothers have known her, been a crazy fan that hyperventilated even at the mention of the name JONAS. Now, she was close friends with two members of the band and was becoming friends with the third. Although, Stella did admit, the way Macy and Nick shot glances at each other over the table did make her smile. And Nick was smiling a lot more now, too.

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**

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Three weeks after Macy and Nick become friends, Nick asks her to help babysit Frankie with him.

"My parents are going out for the day. Joe and Kevin are going shopping and Stella insisted she went with them. If you don't want to then that's fine I just figured that –"

"Nick" she interrupts with a smile "its fine. I'd love to babysit Frankie with you."

And so, on Saturday, Macy meets Nick and Frankie at the park. She's never met Frankie, and looking back now she cringes because last year she would have scared the little boy by how obsessed she was with his brothers and JONAS. She's happy Nick asked her to do this – it's like this is the final test before she's accepted by him. She knows she shouldn't think like that but she can't stop herself.

"Macy!" Nick waves at her from where he's standing and she grins and waves back, quickening her pace a little. She reaches them and smiles as Nick hugs her. After he releases her she looks at Frankie. For a seven year old he looks pretty mature.

"Hey, Frankie. I'm Macy." She greets with a smile.

"Hi, Macy. I've heard a lot about you," he pauses and then adds "from Nick," then pauses once more and finally adds "good things, I mean. Like how much he likes you and-"

"Okay! What do you want to do, Macy?" Nick adds quickly. Macy smiles at Frankie and shrugs.

"I don't know. What do you two want to do?" She asks.

"I'd like to play tennis. We bought tennis rackets," Frankie suggests. "But I want to go with Macy. Nick's rubbish."

"Hey! That's not fair! I can't play at all so surely I should get to go with Macy!" Nick argued back, but Macy could tell he was joking.

"Why don't we take it in turns then?" Frankie said, changing his tone of voice so he sounded like a parent talking to a child. Nick laughed along with Macy and they both agreed. Frankie and Macy played against Nick first, and Macy gratefully accepted a racket from Nick.

As they got into position Frankie shoots her a look.

"What's wrong, Frankie?" She asks, knowing that he's only seven and probably wants to ask a question.

"I think you and Nick can be described in one word." Frankie explains calmly, smiling at Macy so innocently that she figures it must be a word for friendship that Frankie learnt from his mom. "Enamour." He says.

"Enamour?" She asks, confused. But Nick's already served and the game's started.

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**

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Later on, when she gets home, she looks up the word enamour online.

_en__am__our [i-nam-er] __–verb_

_1. To fill or inflame with - to be enamoured of a certain lady. For example: a brilliant woman with whom he became enamoured. _

_2. To charm or captivate._

Macy blinks, and then laughs out loud. She has no idea where Frankie got the word from, but she doubts it can describe her and Nick at all. In fact, she _knows _it can't describe her and Nick's relationship (which is a friendship, nothing more).

She sends the definition to Stella and adds to the end 'Frankie thinks this describes me and Nick – did Joe drop him on his head again? Macy x'

After ten minutes of pointless internet games, she gets a reply. Eager to 'aww' at how cute the youngest JONAS is for misinterpreting her relationship with Nick, she clicks on the e-mail.

'Macy, maybe Frankie isn't far off. Nick laughs a lot around you and I know you like him. You can see it when you talk to him. Joe agrees, by the way. He's sitting here now. He also wants to ask you if you knew that a snail has four noses. Stella x'

Macy frowns. This was not the response she wanted. She doesn't bother replying, because now she's angry. Nick is her friend. Nothing more. So why is she smiling about the fact that Joe thinks Nick likes her?

---

**

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On Sunday afternoon, Macy is at home washing up. She has a volleyball game in one and a half hours, and although she would normally already be in the school gym, her mother had insisted that she had been practising too hard. So, as a result, Macy is stuck washing up. Not exactly fair, but she didn't complain.

She hears her phone ring and sighs. Her hands are covered in soap studs, but at the sound of Stella's personal ringtone she pulls her hands out of the dirty dishwater and tries them on a nearby towel quickly.

She grabs the phone and says a quick hello.

"Macy, have you seen Nick?"

Macy blinks, surprised by the question. Why would she know where Nick is? And why is Stella looking? She panics.

"No. Why? Is he okay?" She asks quickly, her eyes searching the room because maybe he's sitting on her kitchen counter laughing as she panics about him. He isn't, of course.

"Nobody has seen him for the past three hours. I'm really worried, Mace. I don't know where he is. We've looked everywhere. Nick likes to be alone but not for three hours. He's not in the house or the park and it's only three hours but oh god, Mace."

Stella's crying on the other line and Macy hopes that Nick is okay because if he isn't she has no idea what she'll do.

"Stella, I'm going to go and look for him, okay? Nick's going to be fine." She soothes her best friend, waits for Stella's reply (a weak sounding 'ok') and then hangs up.

She tells her mom she's going to her volleyball match. It's not much of a lie – she's going to the school, just not in the gym. Nick means more to her than sport, after all. This is all so sudden and she can't quite believe it, but she only lives a few minutes away from the school and she is one of the fastest runners in the area, so it won't take long to reach it.

She arrives in three minutes. She's sweating (she ran all the way), but it's the last thing she thinks about as she runs through the doors. Nick has to be here. It's the one place Stella didn't mention.

She can hear the roar of the crowd and knows the volleyball match must be starting soon. She doesn't think twice about it. Instead, she looks in as many classrooms as she can and calls Nick's name over and over.

She can't find him and she feels like this is her fault. The word enamour comes into her mind and she wonders if maybe she does like Nick as more than a friend, because if Joe was missing she wouldn't have ran out of her house in such a panic. She'd be scared, sure, but she wouldn't act like this.

He's nowhere and she feels helpless. Three hours is not that long. You have to wait at least twenty four hours before reporting someone as missing, she knows, but Nick is one of her best friends and why would he run away?

_Stop panicking, Macy._

"Macy?" She whirls around, shocked because isn't she meant to find Nick, not the other way around?

"Nick ... what ... where," she can't speak properly so she just runs and hugs him.

He wraps his arms around her and she doesn't realise it until they pull away, but both of them are crying.

"Nick, why did you run away?" She asks the question before she can stop herself.

"Run away? I didn't run away. I just wanted to be alone for a little while." Nick's lying. His eyes are not meeting hers and his feet are shifting against the hallway floor.

"Nick, three hours is a long time to just want to be alone. Especially when you leave no note and switch your phone off." She replies.

He looks up at her and in that moment she knows that this conversation may take a while. She walks into a nearby empty classroom and he follows, shutting the door behind him.

They sit down and Macy trains her eyes on the desk, not wanting to admit that Nick's hurt and upset. Silence engulfs the two of them as they sit there, neither wanting to say what they need too, or what they want.

"I didn't leave a note because I didn't want anyone to worry." He finally says softly.

Macy might not be brilliant with words, but she knows this is irony.

"I think," she says "that it had quite the opposite effect."

Nick laughs but it's empty and he doesn't find anything funny.

She watches him for a few seconds before asking the question she's been wanting to ask ever since she saw him a few minutes ago. "Nick, why did you run away?"

"I didn't really run away, did I, Mace?" He says, and Macy feels stupid for bringing it up. Of course he wouldn't want to confide in her – up until a few months ago she'd been an insane JONAS fan.

"I'm sorry, I just wondered and I thought you could trust me but it's okay-" She says it fast because she can't bear the thought of Nick disliking her.

"Macy." Nick says her name and she falls silent almost instantly.

Silence falls over them once again, but she's used to silence when she's with Nick because he's not the type to talk about everything and anything just to keep the conversation going.

Nick sighs and Macy looks back up and meets his eyes. He smiles, but he still looks sad and Macy thinks that if he doesn't cheer up soon she might start crying with despair.

He stands up and walks over to her, and she isn't sure why. He doesn't speak for a while, so she opens her mouth to say something (_anything)_ but, before she can, Nick speaks.

"I'm just ... I'm so tired of being alone, Macy."

She frowns, confused. He is not alone. He has his fans and his family and his friends (and her, because she is a mix between all three). She wants to tell him this, but instead she just nods, pulling him close she he can cry on her shoulder (because the tears have been waiting to fall ever since they started this conversation).

She whispers into his ear, because maybe she can make it better. "It's okay, Nick. You're not alone."

And, as long as she's there, he won't ever be.

* * *

**_Sorry that I took so long to post this. I hope you liked it. Please review if you can. :)_ **


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